Ways To Annoy A Roommate At Christmas

• Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.

• Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

• Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

• Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

• Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.

• Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say, "You've been very naughty his year. "

• Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.

• Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I. E. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")

• Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.

• Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."

• Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.

• Build a snow person with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically: "It didn't work!"

• Whip your roommate screaming: "Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc."

• Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling, "Bah Humbug!"

• Wake up every morning screaming, "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!"

• Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.

• Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.

• Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.

• Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends, "Give it a yank."

• Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."

• Stand in front of the mirror in your underwear reciting, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over.

• Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.

• Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up, sing, "He sees you when you're sleeping..."

• Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her, "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."

• When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.

• Take some miniature marshmallows and put them in a little baggie. Attach a note to the bag that has a picture of a snow man and this poem: 'You have been naughty, and here's the scoop: All you get is the snowman's poop!' Or you could have a picture of a reindeer with cocoa puffs for reindeer poop for your roommate