There are three we think will be great, four that could go either way, and three
that we think will probably end up as crap. It's also very early in the cycle so
don't hold us to any of it. However, it is very apparent in looking through next
years movies that Hollywood is officially out of ideas. Eight of these ten
movies are either sequels, old stories, or based on graphic novels. The good
news? There is an abundance of hotness coming to a screen near you in 2010.
Jonah Hex
Release Date: August 6, 2010 Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures Director: Jimmy Hayward Screenwriter: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Will Arnett, Michael
Shannon Genre: Action, Adventure, Western, Sci-Fi
Hex, known for having the right side of his face disfigured and
wearing a Confederate army uniform, was a rough-and-tumble gunslinger and
part-time bounty hunter whose adventures always ended in blood. "Jonah Hex"
first appeared in the early 1970s in the issues of "All-Star Western" before
graduating to his own series in 1977 that ran for about 10 years. A new series
was launched in 2005. The character also had a run in the 1990s that combined
the Western genre with supernatural elements. This is based more on that late
1990's run as Hex tracks a voodoo practitioner bent on raising an army of
Confederate zombies. That is cool, but what has our interest peaked is a couple
of other things, named Megan Fox.
Iron Man 2
Release
Date: May 7, 2010 Studio: Paramount Pictures, Marvel Studios Director: Jon Favreau Screenwriter: Justin Theroux Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Jon Favreau,
Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Garry
Shandling, John Slattery, Kate Mara, Clark Gregg, Olivia Munn Genre: Action, Adventure
Plot Summary: In the sequel, Mickey Rourke will play Whiplash, a
character that includes elements from that comic book villain and Crimson
Dynamo, another Russian baddie. Sam Rockwell will play Justin Hammer, a
multibillionaire businessman and a rival of industrialist Tony Stark, AKA Iron
Man, being played by a returning Robert Downey Jr. No word on who geektastic
Olivia Munn is playing, but we already know she can rock a Wonder Woman outfit
and looks hot as hell in a latex outfit, so it really doesn't matter at all.
Release Date: April 23, 2010 Studio: Lionsgate Director: Sylvester Stallone Screenwriter: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Terry
Crews, Randy Couture, Eric Roberts,
Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Jason Statham,
Dolph Lundgren, Charisma Carpenter,
Giselle Itie, Brittany Murphy, David
Zayas, Amin Joseph Genre: Action, Adventure
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Sylvester
Stallone, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin and Randy Couture are a team of
mercenaries headed to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator. Now
that is an action movie cast. This is a movie written and directed by Sylvester
Stallone, so it will probably won’t not an Oscar, and is way more likely to win
a razzie, but we bet the body count will be ridiculously high and your balls
might explode from a surge of testosterone. So we for one can't wait. Throw in
the action movie hall of fame cast and you’ve got a winning formula. Of course,
we cannot forget the eye candy that is already set for this film. Charisma
Carpenter is looking as hot as she did on Buffy, and Brittany Murphy is
in full Sin City hotness mode. We honestly have no idea who Giselle Itie
is, but judging from the picture below, we really do not care.
Brittany Murphy
Charisma Carpenter
Giselle Itie
These four we are not as sure about, but may be pretty good for 2010.
Date Night: Comedies are always tough to preview this far out, but we
think this has a shot to be the comedy hit of the year. Steve Carrell and
Tina Fey as a married couple on a date night. Put together Steve Carell, Tina
Fey, Leighton Meester, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and Mark Ruffalo and honestly
how can this movie not be hilarious.
Black Hole: David Fincher's “Black Hole” is based on a graphic novel
by Charles Burns about a sexually transmitted disease that’s rapidly spreading
among teenagers. Interesting conceptually, but this could very easily go very
wrong.
The A-Team: This could have been a lot of cheesy fun, but with Mr. T
replaced by Common, we are really unsure of this one. I mean Common is just kind
of well, common. Still if they give it the proper respect it could be OK, kind
of.
Inception: This movie could very well be terrible. No one has a clue
what it is about. Honestly, we are not sure that director Christopher Nolan even
understands this movie as so far all he has chosen to reveal is that it’s “a
contemporary sci-fi actioner set within the architecture of the mind.” We have
no clue what that means, but Nolan gets somewhat of a pass as he is the man who
brought us The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, Memento,
and The Prestige.
More
2010 Releases
Then there are the movies that are supposed to be highly
anticipated, but we just are not getting them. It's early and we could
be way wrong, but these major releases look to be disappointing early
on.
Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1: This could be a fantastic
movie, but we just don't care now that Warner Brothers has split the
book in two. This movie has another huge problem and that is that to
give justice to the book, its going to be way way over the top with the
violence, torture and killing for the kiddies that are going to want to
see it.
Robin Hood: This could be
a good movie, but Ridley Scott is going for historical accuracy and that
could also make it very dry although Scott should deliver on the battle
scenes. Think Master and Commander, we prefer 300.
The Green Hornet: We are kind of mixed on this
movie. For one, we just cannot picture chubby Seth Rogen as The Green
Hornet. Secondly we really do not want to. Then there is no way they are
going to be able to make this movie well. How in the world do you get
someone to play Kato against Bruce Lee's masterpiece. They have been
trying to make this movie since the 1990's. There is a reason it has
languished for 20 years.