XXX
Released August 9, 2002

- Almost phony baloney

"XXX" is a money-spinner, a vehicle for star Vin Diesel to flex his box office clout aptly supported by director Rob Cohen, who directed him in last year’s surprise hit The Fast and the Furious. It is a dumb actioner, uncannily like James Bond even to those films’ signature tune, but not without some merits.

The similarities to video game techniques made me curious about whether "XXX" is based on a PlayStation product, or of its like. At the time of writing I am unsure, but the form made me feel as if they ripped the story out of electronic wonderland – the technical equivalent of a corn flakes packet – and pasted it on celluloid.

I can just imagine the scenario: you are the "hero", Xander Cage, a criminal with ability in Extreme Sports. Cut to the next screen. You have been chosen to participate in some tests with other criminals. The man who comes out winning goes onto the next stage, but first you need to pass go and no doubt you will win. To do so, though, use guns, fists, clever one-liners, and motorbikes to achieve your purpose. After breezing your way through this phase you have been selected as the winner, and as part of the government’s rehabilitation programme you get to redeem points by becoming an agent for good – you are now on the side of the U.S.A Government.

Now for the real action - and a lot of tactical manoeuvrers. You are assigned by Agent Gibbons to obtain information about criminals because it takes one to know one. You fly to Czechoslovakia, and pick up lots of health along the way. It gets a bit complicated here because there are more characters, including the baddie of the piece – aptly named Yorgi. You could finish the job and return to base, retiring in comfort. But, being the hero, you continue the journey into phase three and lots more danger. As well, Yorgi has a girlfriend and your extra curricular activity, if you should choose to oblige, is to see if you can get the girl - this, while saving the world.

Of course, players of the game will see their real heroes perform these tasks: Vin Diesel as Xander, likeable and unconquerable; Asia Argento as the love interest Yelena, lacking characterisation but attractive enough; Marton Csokas as the villain, an anarchist without a heart who gets away with stern looks; and, Samuel L Jackson as Agent Gibbons, well, he cannot be faulted – always charismatic.

If you care to look at the game’s cover you’ll see the director of operations is Rob Cohen. Going by his credits you understand that why you can win when you are losing is because plot contrivances don’t figure in video games. You will also realise that having made episodes of Miami Vice, graphics are extremely important and so are explosions.

That been said the final action sequence is a tad gripping.