Top 20 TV Promo Turnoffs (in no particular order)

1. "Inspirational" (maybe for someone who's forgotten how to breathe)
   
   
2. "Yarn" (might as well say "yawn")
   
   
3. "Based on a True Story" (loosely based...verrry loosely)
   
   
4. "Touching" (Yeah, touching. And not in a good way)
   
   
5. "Viewer Discretion is Advised" ("...to boost our ratings")
   
   
6. "The new hit..." (if it's such a hit, why do you have to tell me that?)
   
   
7. "A special episode" ("we have writer's block, so we had to create an episode around one idea that wasn't so hot to begin with")
   
   
8. "A very special episode" ("we still have writer's block")
   
   
9. "All new" (it's Sweeps)
   
   
10. "With guest star" ("our ratings are sagging")
    
    
11. "With special guest star" (it's Sweeps)
    
    
12. "You won't want to miss..." (wanna bet?)
    
    
13. "Coming up" (Oh PISS OFF!)
    
    
14. "Gripping" (gripping something, anyway)
    
    
15. "Two-part" (or worse, "mini-series")
    
    
16. "World broadcast premiere" (of a movie the whole world's already seen at least once)
    
    
17. "Today on ..." (don't TELL me...SHOW me!)
    
    
18. "Tomorrow on ..." ("we want you to watch tomorrow, so we'll tease you with something that looks good, but is actually pretty lame")
    
    
19. "Moving" (better than a laxative!)
    
    
20. "You won't believe..." (how the hell does anyone know what I will and won't believe???)