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 TV Bites with Neena Louise

The 2008-2009 Tenth Annual TV BiteMes

by Neena Louise

 

Worst Actress
Stana Katic, "Kate Beckett", Castle (This is a fairly decent show, but it would be so much better if Katic took some acting lessons.)

Best Actress

Tina Fey "Liz Lemon", 30 Rock (I might be the only one in the Known Universe that really doesn't care much for 30 Rock. Fey is the only reason I tune in at all.)

Most Overrated Female

Eva Longoria Parker, "Gabrielle Solis", Desperate Housewives
 (Longoria Parker is a decent actress and she's cute, but hardly worth the attention she gets.)
 

Most Overlooked Female
Smith Cho, "Zoe Chae", Knight Rider
 (The show wasn't really much, but Cho's witty performance made it worth a look.)

Worst Actor
Bobby Cannavale, "Trevor", Cupid
 (Cupid was anything but loveable and Cannavale's ridiculous over-the-top performance didn't help it any.)

Best Actor

Jonny Lee Miller, "Eli Stone", Eli Stone (Miller's "Eli" repeatedly saved this show. Too bad it wasn't enough.)

Most Overrated Male

Josh Holloway, "James 'Sawyer' Ford", Lost (Mumbling sexily does not an actor make.)

Most Overlooked Male

Jay Harrington, "Ted", Better Off Ted (Harrington's strong, yet understated, performance of "Ted" was a nice counter-balance to all the overacted weirdos.)

Worst-Dressed Female

America Ferrera, "Betty Suarez", Ugly Betty (Of course, "Betty's" wardrobe is supposed to be outrageously gaudy. Trouble is, it's just getting old and stupid. "Frumpy" would be more appropriate than "clownish".)

Best-Dressed Female

Kaley Cuoc, "Penny", The Big Bang Theory (Always young and hip without looking slutty or overdressed. Pretty rare occurrence these days.) 

Worst-Dressed Male

Tim Roth, "Dr. Cal Lightman", Lie to Me (His clothes seemed to be too big for him, making him look like that rumpled loser that was picked on in school.)

Best-Dressed Male

Simon Baker, "Patrick Jane", The Mentalist (You don't often see men wearing 3-piece suits anymore. Baker pulled it off pretty darn well.)

Worst TV Mom

"Christine Campbell", Julia Louis Dreyfuss, The New Adventures of Old Christine (You rarely even saw the kid and when he popped up in the storyline, all "Christine" did was complain about him and his pesky little needs.)

Best TV Mom

"Regina Newly", Jean Smart, Samantha Who? (Smart's "Regina" went from frustrated annoyance to smothering when dealing with her grown daughter. Like most mothers of adult children.)

Worst TV Dad

"Steve Patterson", Bob Saget, Surviving Suburbia (Stupid show wasn't helped by whiney little Nancy-boy "Steve".)

Best TV Dad

"Ted", Jay Harrington, Better Off Ted (You don't often see single fathers on television and when you do, they're usually hopelessly inept. Harrington's "Ted" wasn't.)

Worst TV Kid

"Alexis Castle", Molly C. Quinn, Castle (A good-as-gold little saint. No 15-year-old girl I know - or have ever known - is like this.)

Best TV Kid

"Jake Harper", Angus T. Jones, Two and Half Men ("Jake" remains the most realistic kid on TV - neither angel nor hellion. I wish more were like this instead of kids always being portrayed as either Devil Spawn or Perfect Angels.)

Least Likable Character on a Show 

"Renee Walker", Annie Wersching, 24 (Going from badass to blubbering mess with more or less the same expression, Wersching's "Walker" was an irritating blight on this season of 24.)

Most Likable Character on a Show

"Walter Bishop", John Noble, Fringe (Sometimes Fringe
 could be "whatever", but the affably eccentric "Walter" made it worth watching, week after week.)
 

Worst Drama
Crusoe
 (Visually stunning with gorgeous scenery even more gorgeous hunky men, Crusoe still managed to be very boring.) 

Best Drama

Cold Case (Finally back to cases that are actually cold rather than lukewarm. I was horrified when I heard Cold Case might be cancelled due to its expensive production costs. Thankfully, it'll be back for at least one more season). 

Worst Sitcom 

According to Jim (I'm flabbergasted that this piece of drivel lasted eight(!) seasons. It's finally going to that Big TV in the Sky. Thank goodness.) 

Best Sitcom 

The Big Bang Theory (It should have been boring by now, since it's pretty much a one-note show, but Bang was still hilarious.)

Worst SciFi

Lost (This just gets dumber by the season.)

Best SciFi

Fringe (Yes, it's a little "X-Filey", but it's such a refreshing change to see weird sci-fi stories again, rather than stupid trying-so-hard-to-be-cool sci-fi crap like Heroes and Lost.)

Worst Animated Series

Star Wars: Clone Wars (This is just so wrong on so many levels...)

Best Animated Series

Simpsons (Though I've never been a big Simpsons fan, gotta give it props 20(!!) seasons in.)

Most Overrated Series

Lost
 (I just plain hate this show. Can you tell?)

 

Most Overlooked Series
Better Off Ted
 (Refreshingly offbeat and funny. Don't know why it didn't get better ratings.)

Worst Writing 
Southland
 (The bleeping of characters' swearing was extremely irritating. This is network TV, people! If you insist on having the characters realistically curse, move it to cable. Otherwise, write it for network TV and stop making our bleeping ears bleed.) 

Best Writing
The Big Bang Theory
 (I don't know how the writers kept managing to come up with new - and funny - geekalese without it becoming tiresome, but they did.)

Worst Host/Narrator
Donald Trump, The Celebrity Apprentice
 (I don't know if it was Trump's massive ego or the trademark-but-getting-old bad hair, but this season's Apprentice got increasingly difficult to watch whenever he was on. "Blowhard schnook" was the word that kept coming to mind.)

Best Host/Narrator

Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race (Keoghan always managed to be kind and gentle to the overwrought contestants. Couldn't have been easy when some were so obnoxious you just wanted to bitch-slap them.) 

Worst Newscaster/Reporter

Chris Hansen, Dateline
 (Hansen has lost so much credibility, he's only worthy of an exploitative tabloid show.)


Best Newscaster/Reporter
John Quinones, What Would You Do?
, as well as many other reports on ABC (Quinones always reports both sides and, no matter how potentially exploitative the subject matter, manages to keep the drama to a minimum.)

Worst News Magazine
20/20
 (Dateline's crown is taken for the very first time. Once a can't-miss Friday night staple, 20/20 became more Dateline-ish every time I watched it.)

Best News Magazine

60 Minutes

 

Two really messed
up little girls

Worst Reality Show Series
Living Lohan
 (Two words: train wreck. Not only is Dina Lohan the Worst Mother in the Universe,  but daughter Ali is the most spoiled, obnoxious, whiney, talentless brat in the Universe. It all makes sense, now, why Lindsay Lohan is so screwed up.)

Best Reality Show Series

There aren't any decent voyeuristic reality series on network television any more. Switch over to cable and you'll have a bonanza! 

Worst Reality Game
Dancing with the D-List
...er, Stars (I fail to see the appeal in this and am baffled by the continued high ratings. I really like dance - So You Think You Can Dance is a summer can't-miss - but these no-name has-beens didn't even qualify as stars, never mind dancers.) 

Best Reality Game

The Amazing Race 14 (Fourteen editions in and Race still has it. From the hilarious cheese-chasing in Switzerland to Evil Deaf Guy, Race seems to improve with age - as was proven by its repeated top-20 finish. Hard to believe it was once on the verge of cancellation.)

Worst Reality Villain

Luke Adams, The Amazing Race 14 (One of the most vile, spoiled, whiney brats I've ever seen - and he's a grown man! I guess we were supposed to feel...well, something for him just because he is deaf, but with mama always leaping to his defense when he didn't deserve it, and him deftly lying right to her face, I just felt repulsed. Not at all a good role model for the deaf.)

Best Reality Villain

Benjamin "Coach" Wade, Survivor Tocantins (The biggest pathological liar Survivor has ever had. A complete weirdo phony that you could truly love to hate.) 

Worst Game Show

Opportunity Knocks (No, it doesn't.)

Best Game Show

Jeopardy

Worst Score

Lost
 (It was just the same nails-on-the-chalkboard supposed "music" over and over again. A score is supposed to be a subtle background enhancement, not a glaring source of irritation.)

Best Score

Cold Case (Now that it has gone back to cases that are actually cold, the music was a pleasant walk down memory lane.)

Worst Theme Music

Lost (Unimaginative and stupid.)

Best Theme Music

The Big Bang Theory (Catchy Barenaked Ladies tune has the inherent ability to get stuck in your head and repeat repeat repeat rep...)

Worst Newcomer (that hasn't been cancelled)

Gary Unmarried (Most new series this season had a swift demise. This piece of crap should've been one of them, but, alas, it'll be back.)

Best Newcomer (that hasn't been cancelled) 

The Mentalist (Going back to the typical police procedural format, I expected this to be dull. But the outstanding cast - not to mention Simon Baker's irresistable puppy-dog eyes - made it one of the better dramas on network TV.)

Biggest Decline in Quality

Heroes (Confusing and boring. I stopped watching a few episodes in.)

Most Improved in Quality 

24 (Yes, the season finale was lame, lame, lame - in every way imaginable - but Day 7 was still a vast improvement over the abysmally insipid Day 6.)

Worst Network

NBC (For never giving a series a chance to find an audience.) 

Best Network
CBS

Worst Commercial
Shamwow. The pitchman (Vince Shlomi) is even more annoying and condescending than the screaming Billy Mays (Oxi Clean, etc.). 

Best Commercial
Sprint's first "Now Network" commercial. I especially liked the Twitter segment with the birds chirping "me me me me" and the narrator proclaiming "26% of you viewing this have no
 idea what that means."

Biggest Stinker of the Season
Sit Down, Shut Up
 (Oh, my, what a piece of crap. I had high hopes for this, given its cast, but its cancellation after 4 episodes pretty much says it all.)

Trend of the Year
The swift death of the majority of new series and the rapid decline of once-hits (Heroes
 and Prison Break
, for example). Is network TV on the outs?


Least Magical Moment
Jack Bauer's (Kiefer Sutherland, 24
) supposed regret and repentance on what might or might not (obviously not, since 24 will be back) have been his deathbed. Gaggable and cringe-worthy.

Most Magical Moment

Gil Grissom's departure from CSI. And not because it was "sweet", but because it was "good riddance" (and I never thought I'd say such a thing about William Peterson's "Grissom"). Am I the only one who found the whole Gil/Sara (Jorja Fox) thing totally euwwwww and was relieved to see it over??
 

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