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TV Bites With
Neena Louise |
The 2000-2001
Second Annual TV BiteMes
by Neena Louise
Worst Actress
Mariska Hargitay, "Olivia Benson", Law & Order: SVU (If she
wasn't on this show, I'd probably watch it more often.)
Best Actress
Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart Living (She actually looks warm and
pleasant and relaxed. Now that's what I call acting!)
Most Overrated Female
Jennifer Aniston, "Rachel Green", Friends
Most Overlooked Female
Ming-Na, "Jing-Mei 'Deb' Chen", ER
Worst Actor
Jeff Probst, Survivor (He tried to act like he cared about the
competitors' problems, but it was obvious he was thrilled with the exploitive
footage they got from all the suffering.)
Best Actor
James Marsters, "Spike", Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Most Overrated Male
Charlie Sheen, "Charlie Crawford", Spin City (He's horrible in
this! It's a shame since I know he can act...though you'd never know it watching
Spin City.)
Most Overlooked Male
Anthony Heald, "Scott Guber", Boston Public (He played a creepy
loser in Silence of the Lambs and he plays a creepy loser here. He plays
a creepy loser to perfection.)
Worst Drama
Third Watch
Best Drama
C.S.I.
Worst Sitcom
Will & Grace (It started out great, but now it's deteriorated into
yet another one-joke snorefest).
Best Sitcom
Becker
Worst SciFi
Dark Angel (Ick! Poo!)
Best SciFi
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Worst Animated Series
South Park (Though it was last year's winner as Best Animated Series,
it's become very tired.)
Best Animated Series
The Simpsons
Worst Performance in a Series
Andre Braugher, "Ben Gideon", Gideon's Crossing (Braugher is an
outstanding actor, which makes his wooden - and at times laughable - performance
here more the shame.)
Best Performance in a Series
Sally Field, "Maggie Wyczenski", ER
Most Overrated Series
Friends
Most Overlooked Series
The Lone Gunmen
Worst Writing
The Weber Show (I watched a half-dozen episodes and didn't even snicker
one single time.)
Best Writing
C.S.I.
Worst TV Mom
"Mrs. Kim", Emily Kuroda, Gilmore Girls (Hilarious, to be sure,
but talk about the Mom from Hell!)
Best TV Mom
"Lorelai Gilmore", Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls
Worst TV Kid
"Lily Finnerty", Lynsey Bartilson, Grounded for Life (A
caricatured, spoiled, rude, selfish brat...gives all teens a bad name.)
Best TV Kid
"Grace Manning", Julia Whelan, Once and Again (Generally a
"good girl", but with a barely-concealed hard edge. Like most teens.)
Worst TV Dad
"Rick Sammler", Billy Campbell, Once and Again (Can you say
"wuss"?)
Best TV Dad
"Ken 'Papa' Titus", Stacy Keach, Titus
Worst Dressed Female
Oprah Winfrey (Though somewhat improved since last year, she's still in
desperate need of a talented stylist.)
Best Dressed Female
The entire female cast of Sex in the City
Worst Dressed Male
Joshua Jackson, "Pacey Witter", Dawson's Creek
Best Dressed Male
Andy Hallett, "The Host", Angel
Worst Female Body
Calista Flockhart, "Ally McBeal", Ally McBeal
Best Female Body
Zuleikha Robinson, "Eve Harlow", The Lone Gunmen (Too bad
that's all she's got going for her.)
Worst Male Body
Richard Belzer, "John Munch", Law & Order: SVU (Every time
I see him, I want to straighten that slouch.)
Best Male Body
David Boreanaz, "Angel", Angel
Worst Miniseries
Blonde (Dumb, dumb, DUMB Blonde!)
Best Miniseries
Anne Frank (This was the ONLY fictionized depiction of the Holocaust I've
seen that showed what the camps were really like.)
Worst Prime Time News Magazine
Dateline
Best Prime Time News Magazine
20/20
Worst Reality Show Series
Police Videos (Changing the name hasn't helped....ditching that offensive
twerp John Bunnell would.)
Best Reality Show Series
Cops
Worst Reality Game
The Mole
Best Reality Game
Survivor II
Worst Reality Special
David Copperfield's Volcano of Fire (Oh my god, was that stupid, or
what?!?!)
Best Reality Special
There weren't any.
Worst Game Show
The Weakest Link (I only managed to watch half an episode. The host is
nasty, the contestants are nasty, the sets are nasty...it's just nasty.)
Best Game Show
Jeopardy
Worst Timeslot for a Good Show
The District, 10:00 p.m., Saturday (What is this doing in one of the
worst time slots of the week?)
Best Timeslot for a Bad Show
Friends, 8:00 p.m., Thursday (Thank goodness there was Survivor II
as an alternative for at least part of the season.)
Least Likable Character on a Show
"Helen Gamble", Lara Flynn Boyle, The Practice (I wish they'd
decide whether she's supposed to be a bitch or not.)
Most Likable Character on a Show
"Anya", Emma Caulfield, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Worst Theme
Judge Mills Lane (Bad singing, stupid song, poor attempt at retro. The
show's been canceled and I can only wonder if it's due - at least in part - to
this appalling theme.)
Best Theme
Law and Order (Mike Post does it again...er...still.)
Worst Commentator/Narrator
Ahmet Zappa, Robotica (I guess he's trying to be "cool", but he
comes out sounding - and looking, for that matter - like the geekiest, nerdiest
audio-visual-reject I've ever seen. He's so off-putting that I could only watch
from tape to fast forward over his sophomoric screeching.)
Best Commentator/Narrator
Will Lyman, Frontline (He's been the voice of Frontline for years
and I don't think I could watch it without that voice.)
Most Welcome Death
"Richard Bay", Jason Kravits, The Practice (He wasn't even a
guy you loved to hate...you just hated him. Good riddance.)
Least Welcome Death
The wild pig in Survivor II
Least Valuable Player
"Daphne Moon", Jane Leeves, Frasier (Boring for years, Leeves'
recent maternity-leave absence made no difference to the show.)
Most Valuable Player
"Gil Grissom", William Petersen, C.S.I. (The show would crash
and burn without him.)
Least Effective Detective
"Olivia Benson", Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
Most Effective Detective
"Lenny Briscoe", Jerry Orbach, Law & Order
Worst Newcomer (that hasn't been canceled)
The Weber Show (Someone make it stop!)
Best Newcomer (that hasn't been canceled)
C.S.I.
Biggest Decline in Quality
The Drew Carey Show (Time to put this embarrassment to sleep.
Permanently.)
Most Improved in Quality
Angel (Towards the end of the season, it was actually better than its
parent show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
Biggest Stinker of the Season
Normal, Ohio (Stellar cast totally wasted on this wretched excuse for a
sitcom. Thank goodness it was soon put out of its misery.)
Worst Network
NBC ("Must See TV"? I think not. More like "Musty TV".)
Best Network
Fox (Only because they are so blissfully and unapologetically exploitive.)
Least Magical Moment
"Sara Sidel" [Jorja Fox] burying a gorilla's ashes in the desert on C.S.I.
(Puh-leeze. For a show that dares not to be sappy and stupid, this was
sappy and stupid.)
Most Magical Moment
The ousting of Jerri on Survivor II. Supposedly an actress, Jerri
couldn't even act like a human being for a million dollars! I have to wonder
what kind of acting parts the most hated woman in America is going to be offered
(considering what I've seen of her acting ability, not many).
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