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 TV Bites With Neena Louise

The 2000-2001 Second Annual TV BiteMes

by Neena Louise

Worst Actress
Mariska Hargitay, "Olivia Benson", Law & Order: SVU (If she wasn't on this show, I'd probably watch it more often.)

Best Actress
Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart Living (She actually looks warm and pleasant and relaxed. Now that's what I call acting!)

Most Overrated Female
Jennifer Aniston, "Rachel Green", Friends

Most Overlooked Female
Ming-Na, "Jing-Mei 'Deb' Chen", ER

Worst Actor
Jeff Probst, Survivor (He tried to act like he cared about the competitors' problems, but it was obvious he was thrilled with the exploitive footage they got from all the suffering.)

Best Actor
James Marsters, "Spike", Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Most Overrated Male
Charlie Sheen, "Charlie Crawford", Spin City (He's horrible in this! It's a shame since I know he can act...though you'd never know it watching Spin City.)

Most Overlooked Male
Anthony Heald, "Scott Guber", Boston Public (He played a creepy loser in Silence of the Lambs and he plays a creepy loser here. He plays a creepy loser to perfection.)

Worst Drama
Third Watch

Best Drama

Worst Sitcom
Will & Grace (It started out great, but now it's deteriorated into yet another one-joke snorefest).

Best Sitcom

Worst SciFi
Dark Angel (Ick! Poo!)

Best SciFi
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Worst Animated Series
South Park (Though it was last year's winner as Best Animated Series, it's become very tired.)

Best Animated Series
The Simpsons

Worst Performance in a Series
Andre Braugher, "Ben Gideon", Gideon's Crossing (Braugher is an outstanding actor, which makes his wooden - and at times laughable - performance here more the shame.)

Best Performance in a Series
Sally Field, "Maggie Wyczenski", ER

Most Overrated Series

Most Overlooked Series
The Lone Gunmen

Worst Writing
The Weber Show (I watched a half-dozen episodes and didn't even snicker one single time.)

Best Writing

Worst TV Mom
"Mrs. Kim", Emily Kuroda, Gilmore Girls (Hilarious, to be sure, but talk about the Mom from Hell!)

Best TV Mom
"Lorelai Gilmore", Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls

Worst TV Kid
"Lily Finnerty", Lynsey Bartilson, Grounded for Life (A caricatured, spoiled, rude, selfish brat...gives all teens a bad name.)

Best TV Kid
"Grace Manning", Julia Whelan, Once and Again (Generally a "good girl", but with a barely-concealed hard edge. Like most teens.)

Worst TV Dad
"Rick Sammler", Billy Campbell, Once and Again (Can you say "wuss"?)

Best TV Dad
"Ken 'Papa' Titus", Stacy Keach, Titus

Worst Dressed Female
Oprah Winfrey (Though somewhat improved since last year, she's still in desperate need of a talented stylist.)

Best Dressed Female
The entire female cast of Sex in the City

Worst Dressed Male
Joshua Jackson, "Pacey Witter", Dawson's Creek

Best Dressed Male
Andy Hallett, "The Host", Angel

Worst Female Body
Calista Flockhart, "Ally McBeal", Ally McBeal

Best Female Body
Zuleikha Robinson, "Eve Harlow", The Lone Gunmen (Too bad that's all she's got going for her.)

Worst Male Body
Richard Belzer, "John Munch", Law & Order: SVU (Every time I see him, I want to straighten that slouch.)

Best Male Body
David Boreanaz, "Angel", Angel

Worst Miniseries
Blonde (Dumb, dumb, DUMB Blonde!)

Best Miniseries
Anne Frank (This was the ONLY fictionized depiction of the Holocaust I've seen that showed what the camps were really like.)

Worst Prime Time News Magazine

Best Prime Time News Magazine

Worst Reality Show Series
Police Videos (Changing the name hasn't helped....ditching that offensive twerp John Bunnell would.)

Best Reality Show Series

Worst Reality Game
The Mole

Best Reality Game
Survivor II

Worst Reality Special
David Copperfield's Volcano of Fire (Oh my god, was that stupid, or what?!?!)

Best Reality Special
There weren't any.

Worst Game Show
The Weakest Link (I only managed to watch half an episode. The host is nasty, the contestants are nasty, the sets are nasty...it's just nasty.)

Best Game Show

Worst Timeslot for a Good Show
The District, 10:00 p.m., Saturday (What is this doing in one of the worst time slots of the week?)

Best Timeslot for a Bad Show
Friends, 8:00 p.m., Thursday (Thank goodness there was Survivor II as an alternative for at least part of the season.)

Least Likable Character on a Show
"Helen Gamble", Lara Flynn Boyle, The Practice (I wish they'd decide whether she's supposed to be a bitch or not.)

Most Likable Character on a Show
"Anya", Emma Caulfield, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Worst Theme
Judge Mills Lane (Bad singing, stupid song, poor attempt at retro. The show's been canceled and I can only wonder if it's due - at least in part - to this appalling theme.)

Best Theme
Law and Order (Mike Post does it again...er...still.)

Worst Commentator/Narrator
Ahmet Zappa, Robotica (I guess he's trying to be "cool", but he comes out sounding - and looking, for that matter - like the geekiest, nerdiest audio-visual-reject I've ever seen. He's so off-putting that I could only watch from tape to fast forward over his sophomoric screeching.)

Best Commentator/Narrator
Will Lyman, Frontline (He's been the voice of Frontline for years and I don't think I could watch it without that voice.)

Most Welcome Death
"Richard Bay", Jason Kravits, The Practice (He wasn't even a guy you loved to hate...you just hated him. Good riddance.)

Least Welcome Death
The wild pig in Survivor II

Least Valuable Player
"Daphne Moon", Jane Leeves, Frasier (Boring for years, Leeves' recent maternity-leave absence made no difference to the show.)

Most Valuable Player
"Gil Grissom", William Petersen, C.S.I. (The show would crash and burn without him.)

Least Effective Detective
"Olivia Benson", Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU

Most Effective Detective
"Lenny Briscoe", Jerry Orbach, Law & Order

Worst Newcomer (that hasn't been canceled)
The Weber Show (Someone make it stop!)

Best Newcomer (that hasn't been canceled)

Biggest Decline in Quality
The Drew Carey Show (Time to put this embarrassment to sleep. Permanently.)

Most Improved in Quality
Angel (Towards the end of the season, it was actually better than its parent show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

Biggest Stinker of the Season
Normal, Ohio (Stellar cast totally wasted on this wretched excuse for a sitcom. Thank goodness it was soon put out of its misery.)

Worst Network
NBC ("Must See TV"? I think not. More like "Musty TV".)

Best Network
Fox (Only because they are so blissfully and unapologetically exploitive.)

Least Magical Moment
"Sara Sidel" [Jorja Fox] burying a gorilla's ashes in the desert on C.S.I. (Puh-leeze. For a show that dares not to be sappy and stupid, this was sappy and stupid.)

Most Magical Moment
The ousting of Jerri on Survivor II. Supposedly an actress, Jerri couldn't even act like a human being for a million dollars! I have to wonder what kind of acting parts the most hated woman in America is going to be offered (considering what I've seen of her acting ability, not many).
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