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 TV Bites With Neena Louise

6th Annual OscarBites

by Neena Louise

Worst Dressed

Salma Hayek
That navy-colored dress with the black bows thrown on willy-nilly looked like it was hand-made in 10 minutes by someone who can't sew.

All those grey dresses! Halle Berry, Laura Linney, Melanie Griffith, Natalie Portman, Barbra Streisand (to name a few) all looked drab and frumpy in grey.

Best Dressed

Oprah Winfrey
For once, Winfrey was dressed in a beautiful gown that suited her body perfectly.

Worst Accessory

Virginia Madsen's earrings
They looked like trivets, suitable for putting hot cooking pots on rather than wearing in one's ears.

Best Accessory

Jamie Foxx's sunglasses
Very cool.

Worst Hair

Renée Zellweger
Brunette does not suit Zellweger and that silly bun didn't help.

Best Hair

Kate Winslett
The long, careful ringlets looked stunning - especially compared to all the shellacked upsweeps and buns that so many others were sporting.

Most Charming

Hilary Swank
Poised and gracious.

Least Charming

Annette Bening
In both the preshow and as a presenter, Bening looked decidedly uninterested in being there. Husband Warren Beatty, on the other hand, looked thrilled.

Worst Acceptance Speech

Robert Richardson (Cinematography, The Aviator)
Sweet though it was, his thanking only his sick mother's caregivers was somewhat insulting to everyone involved in the picture.

Best Acceptance Speech

Morgan Freeman (Supporting Actor, Million Dollar Baby)
Ignoring the list clutched in his hand, Freeman simply thanked "everyone". Short and classy.

Worst Song Presentation

Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas, "Al Otro Lado Del Río" (Diarios de motocicleta [The Motorcycle Diaries])
Though Santana rocked, Banderas shouldn't give up his day job.

Best Song Presentation

Beyoncé, "Vois Sur Ton Chemin" (The Chorus)
Backed by a boy's choir, this performance was hauntingly beautiful. But did anyone else except me wonder whether Celine Dione wouldn't have been a better choice?

Worst Acknowledgment

Chris Rock carrying on about who Jude Law was and why he was in the movies.

Best Acknowledgment

Sean Penn firing back that Jude Law was one of the finest actors around. Take that, Chris!

Least Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

Annette Bening (Actress, Being Julia)
I've never thought Bening was a particularly talented actress. Her over-acting in Being Julia proves it.

Most Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

The Little Indie That Could. Hopefully more independent films will garner such attention.

Least Deserving of an Oscar

Everyone who received one actually deserved it.

Most Deserving of an Oscar

Morgan Freeman (Actor, Million Dollar Baby)
About time.

Least Surprising Winner

Jamie Foxx (Actor, Ray)
I would've been more surprised if he hadn't won.

Most Surprising Winner

"Al Otro Lado Del Río" (Best Song, Diarios de motocicleta [The Motorcycle Diaries])
With competitors being more traditional Oscar-type songs, this unusual Spanish ballad was a complete surprise.

Worst Presenter

Not only could I not understand a single word he said with his mumbling and stumbling, but his purple jacket, pink bell-bottoms and ridiculous hair made him look like a sleazy lounge singer.

Best Presenter

Scarlett Johansson
Though introducing the winners of the technical awards from the decidedly odd location of a box, she spoke well and was one of the few that didn't appear to be simply reading words off the teleprompter.

Worst Reaction of a Winner

Sandy Powell (Costume Design, The Aviator)
Her floating stroll from the rear of the stage made her look anything but honored.

Best Reaction of a Winner

Jan A.P. Kaczmarek (Original Score, Finding Neverland)
With his sweet speech, he was one of the few that seemed genuinely thrilled to receive an award. I found it interesting that his speech (which certainly must have run over his allotted time) wasn't cut off. Perhaps it was because it was for music?

Biggest Loser

Annette Bening
Twice now she's lost to Hilary Swank. She might want to re-think that whole acting thing.

This was the shortest (at just over 3 hours) and weirdest Oscar ceremony I've ever seen. The opening sequence of clips was decidedly uninspired. Host Chris Rock's opening, though very funny, seemed inappropriate for the Oscars - I didn't tune into the Oscars to watch a Chris Rock Comedy Special! I have to admit the set was very cool, however. The giant projections on the floor and ceiling were fun to watch.

Now someone please tell me what was up with the weird presentations? I found it insulting that the nominees for several categories (Costumes, Documentary Feature, Visual Effects, Sound, Sound Editing and Documentary Short) were herded onto the stage to stand there awkwardly while the nominations were read and winners announced. Even more insulting were the awards presented from the audience (Makeup, Live Action Short). The winners looked like talk show guests and didn't even have the privilege of facing the audience while giving their acceptance speeches. It made me uncomfortable, so I can't image what they felt like. It gave the impression that these awards were less important than others and, thus, don't warrant a walk to the stage. Talk about the "Insult Oscars"! Even Chris Rock made comments about how they'll be handing out awards in the parking lot next. I guess this was done to save time (which it seems to have done), but I hope they never, ever do that again. Add that to Scarlett Johansson doing her bit from a box and the weird camera angles from behind people's heads and I found it all distracting and unprofessional-looking.

For those who missed them:

Picture - Million Dollary Baby, Clint Eastwood, Albert S. Ruddy, Tom Rosenberg
Director - Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Actor - Jamie Foxx, Ray
Actress - Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
Supporting Actor - Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Supporting Actress - Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
Original Screenplay - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie Kaufman, Michel Gondry, Pierre Bismuth
Adapted Screenplay - Sideways, Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor
Cinematography - The Aviator, Robert Richardson
Editing - The Aviator, Thelma Schoonmaker
Animated Feature - The Incredibles, Brad Bird
Animated Short - Ryan, Chris Landreth
Live Action Short - Wasp, Andrea Arnold
Documentary Feature - Born Into the Brothels, Ross Kauffman, Zana Briski
Documentary Short Subject - Mighty Times: The Children's March, Robert Hudson, Bobby Houston
Foreign Language Film - Mar adentro [The Sea Inside] (Spain), Alejandro Amenábar
Original Score - Finding Neverland, Jan A.P. Kaczmarek
Original Song - "Al Otro Lado Del Río", Jorge Drexler, Diarios de motocicleta [The Motorcycle Diaries]
Art Direction - The Aviator, Dante Ferretti
Sound Mixing - Ray, Scott Millan, Greg Orloff, Bob Beemer, Steve Cantamessa
Sound Editing - The Incredibles, Michael Silvers, Randy Thom
Costume Design - The Aviator, Sandy Powell
Visual Effects - Spider-Man 2, John Dykstra, Scott Stokdyk, Anthony LaMolinara, John Frazier
Makeup - Valli O'Reilly, Bill Corso, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Honorary Oscar - Sidney Lumet
Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award - Roger Mayer 
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