That huge, ridiculous puffy bow on her shoulder was as big as her head. It
looked like she was hauling around a sack of flour.
Runner-up Naomi Watts
Her skin-toned dress looked like it had been shredded in the washing machine and
was so ill-fitting, she looked 7 months pregnant. And like others (Salma Hayak
and Kiera Knightly, for example), one of her shoulder straps was missing (how
can anyone think this is a good look??).
Her orange, flowy gown was a refreshing change from all the drab beige and
Terrence Howard's lapel pin
It looked like a baby ate a bottle of glitter, then threw up on his lapel. I
still don't know what it was supposed to be.
Runner-up Kiera Knightly's necklace
It seems she got one of those children's "make a necklace" kits and chose as
many of the biggest, gaudiest beads for it. Not to mention it didn't match her
Amy Adams' earrings
Though they were a bit on the large side, her teardrop earrings were
Her greasy-looking, stringy, unkempt locks look like they haven't seen shampoo,
conditioner or a hairbrush in weeks.
Now this is how you do straight hair (Frances McDormand take note).
Kidman's simple straight hair was a very refreshing change from all the
In the preshow he came off as an arrogant, pompous ass. If he was so completely
bored with the whole thing (as it seemed), why did he bother to show up?
In the preshow, when prodded to bad-mouth someone that had told her she couldn't
sing, Witherspoon instead said that singing on film was an accomplishment for
Worst Acceptance Speech
George Clooney (Supporting
The first thing he said was "so I'm not winning director" (like that was ever
a possibility), Clooney went on to babble a lot of weirdness and didn't seem the
least bit honored (though he did say he was). Instead of thanking anyone,
he just spewed some nonsense about AIDS and black people.
Best Acceptance Speech
Jordan Houston, Cedric Colman, Paul Beauregard
(Original Song, Hustle & Flow)
Their exuberance and unabashed excitement at winning was very endearing and
Worst Song Presentation
For the first time, all song presentations were universally
bad. Dolly Parton did her own song no favors; "In The Deep" was accompanied by a
burning car with people voguing around it; "It's Hard Out there for a Pimp" was
accompanied by an annoying strobe light and people doing bad interpretive dance
(it sounded the best, though).
Best Song Presentation
Though not a song presentation, Perlman's performance of nominated scores is how
songs should be presented at the Oscars: on an unadorned stage in a
simple circle of white. Oh, and it sounded great, too.
Ben Stiller, doing some weird impersonation of a stalk of
asparagus (ok, he was in a green unitard pretending he would be green-screened),
saying "this is blowing Spielberg's mind". Spielberg's response of "no it's not"
Hughes Winborne (Film Editing,
Crash) to conductor Bill Conti: "Don't start the
music. I see you!"
Least Deserving of an Oscar Nomination
Heath Ledger (Actor,
Mumbling through a movie (in a highly hunky, emotive way) should not an Oscar
Most Deserving of an Oscar Nomination
Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Actor,
His spot-on portrayal of Truman Capote showed off Hoffman's talents like never
before. His character-actor days are over.
Least Deserving of an Oscar
George Clooney (Supporting
A total pity win, since there was no chance in hell he'd win anything for
Good Night and Good Luck (nominated for Director and Picture). After his
dreadful acceptance speech, I wanted to snatch the Oscar away from him.
Most Deserving of an Oscar
March of the Penguins
If it hadn't won, I'd protest.
Least Surprising Winner
Ang Lee (Director, Brokeback
Oooh, what a surprise!
Most Surprising Winner
Not strictly a surprise, since everywhere you looked in the weeks leading up to
the Oscars Crash was touted as being a possible upset. Still a bit
Chicken Little and Buck Cluck
Note to the Oscar show producers: animated characters, puppets, and all other
non-human presenters are stupid...ok, more stupid than humans.
Stumbling on her way to the microphone, Garner simply said "I do my own stunts"
and proceeded with the presentation, unfazed.
Worst Reaction of a Winner
I guess everyone has taken lessons on how to be gracious,
since I didn't notice any bad reactions.
Best Reactions of Winners
Paul Haggis and Cathy Schulman
They seemed genuinely surprised and thrilled. Shame on conductor Bill Conti for
bringing up the music and cutting Schulman off (to her credit, she kept talking
anyway). It was the last award of the night, so there was absolutely no need for
that (especially insulting since Reese Witherspoon was not cut off even
though her speech most assuredly went over the allotted time).
This is a simple love story. The fact that the principles are gay doesn't make
it a good love story, however. The Academy seemed to realize this (for
once), since it didn't win many of the awards for which it was nominated.
Relatively short at around 3-1/2 hours, I still found myself often bored during
the proceedings. Jon Stewart was extremely unfunny - like an embarrassingly bad
stand-up comic you really want to heckle. There were also far too many
"clip" segments (the only time I laughed at Stewart was in response to his
comment about needing a salute to clips category). We really didn't need to see
clip after clip of old movies - especially those that seemed to have nothing to
do with the current show (like the salute to Film Noir). At least there was none
of last year's awkward presentations from the audience.
Though the huge audience the Oscars generate is usually irresistible for
political and social spew, other than Clooney's rambling and a bit of Jon
Stewart doing The Daily Show, there was thankfully very little. What I
found interesting was that both Academy president Sid Ganis and actor Jake
Gyllenhaal slammed DVDs as not the best way to see movies and how you can only
get the experience of seeing the movie as it was intended at the theater. I took
that as a desperate attempt to get people to go to the theater rather than wait
for the DVD, thereby propping up lagging box office revenues and saving their
paychecks. So make movies worth the effort of going to the theater, then! I love
movies, but I'm one of those who rarely goes through the ordeal of driving miles
to the nearest multiplex to sit through commercials and listen to other people's
conversations in order to see a movie. I buy (but never download) at
least 50 DVDs a year, however, and I'm sick and tired of movie makers trying to
make me feel guilty for doing so. Instead of blaming DVDs for the decline in box
office returns, movie makers should embrace them. Make DVD revenue part of the
box office numbers. Or release the DVD at the same time as the theater release.
Or, better yet, offer the DVD for sale at a discounted price only at the theater
and only after you buy a ticket to see it. I'd go to the theater more often for
sure if they did that...but I guess they think we'd then pirate the DVDs because
we're all such thieves. Whatever...they should do something other
than constantly blame the public for their failure at the box office. Movie
makers can be so clueless...
For those who missed them:
Crash, Paul Haggis, Cathy Schulman
Director - Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Actor - Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Actress - Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Supporting Actor - George Clooney, Syriana
Supporting Actress - Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
Original Screenplay - Crash, Paul Haggis, Bobby Moresco
Adapted Screenplay - Brokeback Mountain, Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana
Memoirs of a Geisha, Dion Beebe
Film Editing -
Crash, Hughes Winborne
Animated Feature - Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Nick
Park, Steve Box
Animated Short - The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation, John
Canemaker, Peggy Stern
Live Action Short - Six Shooter, Martin McDonagh
Documentary Feature - March of the Penguins, Luc Jacquet, Yves Darondeau
Documentary Short - A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin,
Eric Simonson, Corinne Marrinan
Foreign Language Film - Tsotsi (South Africa), Gavin Hood
Original Score - Brokeback Mountain, Gustavo Santaolalla
Original Song - "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp", Hustle & Flow, Jordan
Houston, Cedric Coleman, Paul Beauregard
Art Direction -
Memoirs of a Geisha, John Myhre, Gretchen Rau
Sound Mixing -
King Kong, Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges, Hammond
Sound Editing -
King Kong, Mike Hopkins, Ethan Van der Ryn
Costume Design -
Memoirs of a Geisha, Colleen Atwood
Visual Effects -
King Kong, Joe Letteri, Brian Van't Hul, Christian
Rivers, Richard Taylor
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, Howard
Berger, Tami Lane
Honorary Oscar - Robert Altman
would love to know what you think, sound off on the
boards and let us know what you think!