Biel looked like she simply draped a bunch of fabric around her and
stuffed a towel down her cleavage.
Wearing an elegant dark red gown, Adams was a vision. That necklace on
the other hand...
Hoffman's knitted watchcap
It's the Oscars, Phil, not a rumble in the alley.
Diane Lane's necklace
That's how you do a choker. Bonus that it matched her
Someone should've introduced her to a hairbrush and some anti-frizz
serum before the ceremony.
Despite the lovely curls cascading down her back, from the front, Jolie
resembled the Bride of Frankenstein.
I really didn't see any
During E!'s preshow, Klum kept insinuating herself in husband Seal's
interview with Ryan Seacrest. If that wasn't bad enough, she then had
the gall to hawk her hideous jewellry (albeit for charity). Disgusting.
Taraji P. Henson
Henson was utterly charming and relaxed and, though completely
respectful, didn't seem to take herself or the Oscars too seriously.
Worst Acceptance Speech
(Supporting Actress, Vicky Cristina Barcelona)
Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH. I don't know why this kind of nonsense
is so typical for those in this category.
Best Acceptance Speech
(Director, Slumdog Millionaire)
His Tigger impression was completely endearing and he actually looked
thrilled to be winning, even though it was the bazillionth for
Worst Song Presentation
The entire thing
Ok, what the hell was that? It started off reasonably well
with A.R. Rahman's excellent singing of "O...Saya" from Slumdog
Millionaire, but I was totally
confused when, in the middle of a bunch of Bollywood dancers, some guy
(I'm sure I'll get slammed for having no idea who it was) started
singing "Down to Earth" from WALL-E,
then an African choir appeared out of nowhere for no apparent reason. If
that wasn't bad enough, Rahman returned to the stage to sing "Jai Ho",
then was joined by Unknown Singer who reprised "Down to Earth" like some
weird duet. Peter Gabriel was quite vocal about his objections to having
nominated songs (one of which was his) presented as a medley and he was
so right. The whole thing was a big, hot, steaming mess.
Best Song Presentation
No such creature.
All the acknowledgements
Hugh Jackman spewed after the opening number. Awkward!
Cuba Gooding Jr. ranting
at Robert Downey Jr. for playing a black man in Tropic Thunder.
Least Deserving of an Oscar
Her over-the-top melodramatic weepy mess of a performance was hardly
worth an Oscar nod.
Most Deserving of an Oscar
(Actor, The Wrestler)
I'm a sucker for a good comeback story.
Least Deserving of an Oscar
This was just a
cause-of-the-minute win. Penn saved himself somewhat during his
acceptance speech when he very astutely said how "difficult it is to
appreciate me". Impossible, actually.
Most Deserving of an Oscar
Well, it's about time!
Least Surprising Winners (tie)
(Animated Feature) and Heath Ledger
(Supporting Actor, The Dark Knight)
Most Surprising Winner
Again this year, no
All the actor & actress
Having previous winners gushing over the nominees was completely
gaggable and cringe-worthy (not to mention boring as hell). When the
nominees pulled their best pageant "oooh, thank you" faces, I wanted to
vomit. Note to Oscar producers: Never do this
Utterly charming and funny and completely respectful of the sound and
editing categories (which are so often underappreciated). Not only did
he poke fun at himself for tripping over his words, he took the words
out of my mouth when, as he stayed for a third presentation, said "yeah,
I'm still here".
Worst Reaction of a Winner
(Makeup, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
His arrogant swagger and look of "well, of course
I won" made me instantly dislike him. Didn't help that his acceptance
speech just spieled off a list of names.
Best Reaction of a Winner
(Live Action Short Film, Spielzeugland)
His enthusiastic jubilation at his win was very refreshing.
against Slumdog Millionaire
This Oscar broadcast was better than last year, but still not terribly
interesting. There seemed to be far too much filler and not enough
ceremony, making it very surprising that it was shorter than most
broadcasts (in spite of the horrible gushing love-ins of the
actor/actress presentations that made me fear the broadcast would be 6
hours long). The stage, with its bazillion crystals, looked like some
spoiled brat's sweet sixteen party, complete with chandeliers that
seemed to have bodies suspended from them. However, the ugly stage was
easy to ignore with the charming Hugh Jackman doing a great job as host.
It was nice to see his song-and-dance chops on display during the
opening old-time musical theater number, which was so silly it was
hilarious (the cardboard Oscars at the end made me howl). The "salute to
musicals" in the middle of the broadcast, however, was a nightmare. It
seems they were trying to get as many people on the stage as possible,
doing their best high school production number. Pointless, corny and
stupid, it made me dislike musicals even more than I already do and I
turned to the weather channel for something more interesting. The
absolute worst part of the broadcast, however, was the "In Memoriam"
sequence. The awkward, zooming camera angles made it nearly impossible
to read many of the names (I was actually squinting at my giant TV,
trying to read them). It didn't help that Queen Latifah was singing
during the entire thing. Do you look at her performance, or the people
on the screens behind her? It was totally disrespectful.
Despite the bad bits, I was very relieved that no one seemed to be using
the broadcast's huge audience for their own agendas. Until that idiot
Sean Penn had to go and ruin it with his pro-gay marriage plug. Come on,
people! The Oscars is not the place for any kind of political or social
spew. Get it into your big, fat moronic heads: You're
For those who missed them:
Millionaire, Christian Colson
Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Actor: Sean Penn, Milk
Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Supporting Actress: PenÃ©lope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Foreign Language Film: Departures
(Japan), Yojiro Takita
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire,
Anthony Dod Mantle
Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary Feature: Man on Wire,
James Marsh, Simon Chinn
Documentary Short Subject: Smile Pinki,
Live Action Short Film: Spielzeugland (Toyland),
Jochen Alexander Freydank
Film Editing: Slumdog Millionaire,
Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,
Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,
Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire,
Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke, Resul Pookutty
Sound Editing: The Dark Knight,
Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,
Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron
Costume Design: The Duchess,
Original Score: Slumdog Millionaire,
Original Song: "Jai Ho", Slumdog Millionaire,
A.R. Rahman, Gulzar
Animated Feature Film: WALL-E,
Animated Short Film: La Maison en Petits Cubes,
Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award: Jerry Lewis