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 TV Bites with Neena Louise

Top 10 TV Annoyances

by Neena Louise

10. "Coming Up" Banners

It is so irritating when a big, obnoxious banner proclaiming what is coming up covers up a subtitle. I don't give a rat's ass what's coming up. I just want to see who it is that's speaking or be able to understand what someone speaking another language is saying during the program I'm watching right now.

9. Jeff Probst Counting to "One" on Survivor

How many times have you heard Probst say during Tribal Council "First vote: So-and-so. That's one vote for So-and-so."? Most people over the age of 3 can count to one. Even two! Just how stupid does Probst and/or Survivor's producers think the viewing public is? 

8. Zooming / Shaky Camera Work

I guess this is supposed to make everything look so real and dramatic. In actuality, it's annoying and pretentious.

7. Repetitive "Viewer Discretion Advised" Warnings

I can understand the warning at the beginning of the show and, perhaps, after the first commercial break. But after every single commercial break? Puh-leeze! I don't know if these are government regulations or the networks being paranoid about being fined, but if you don't know what you're watching isn't suitable for children after the first few minutes, you: a) are a lousy parent; b) are too stupid to be watching TV and need to read a book instead.

6. Sweeps

Though not such an issue this season, given that the writers were on strike for a large chunk of it, Sweeps still needs banning. "Good" episodes should air throughout the season, not just during Sweeps.

5. The Dreaded "To Be Continued"

Two-part episodes are lame and rife with "whatever". I'm getting to the point that I simply don't bother with the second part of an episode. Or, if I know in advance it is a 2-parter, I'll skip the first part altogether. It'll be recapped extensively at the beginning of part 2 anyway.

4. Idiotic Running Times

If every TV show ran from 8:59 to 10:02 (or whatever), this wouldn't be an issue. But with so many eccentric running times on different networks, how can anyone watch live TV anymore? I'm getting so sick of missing the first/last couple of minutes of a show that, if it is running at a stupid time, it's TiVo to the rescue.

3. Repeating What Happened Just Before a Commercial Break

When are the networks going to get it? Just because viewers have short attention spans does not mean we have no memories. We really don't need a "recap" of what happened two minutes ago.

2. Recap Episodes

Again with the "Viewers have no memories" attitude from the networks! With so many repeats this season, the very last thing in the world anyone wants to see is a "new" episode that is actually little more than a clip show, recapping all the repeats you've already been forced to endure (sometimes several times). Enough already.

1. The Dramatic Pause (and its close cousin: The Dramatic Pause Before Commercial)

With so much reality TV jamming the airwaves, the stupid "dramatic pause" is anything but dramatic. How many times have you heard "And the [chosen one] is" ... pause ... cue music ... pause ... commercial! You can see commercials coming a mile away and can leave the show a few seconds before and not bother returning until a few seconds after (because they'll repeat what happened just before the commercial anyway). Idiots.



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